Too Hurt to Say

I nodded, too hurt to say how I really felt.
So I smiled, and you smiled—
You understand, right? This isn’t mutual
and I’m just too busy.
(Too busy for your best friend?
Or maybe I wasn’t, but she was to me.)
Sure I do, and now it’s mutual.

You left, but I don’t think you
knew how much it hurt to have that intense trust
tear away from my weary heart.
The door shut and I cried—too hurt to say.



I have always felt separate, somehow.
Yet solitude has never been a source of pain until
I felt the sting of pity in your eyes—
For you watched a kaleidoscope of fireworks
explode in color all around me
while I faded into darkness.